The other thing about a cobra? Depending on what you read, a cobra can hypnotise its prey by staring at while rhythmically moving back and forth. Then it attacks.
OK - time to dovetail. Playing gigs means getting attention from the crowd/customers. It's normally fun, and it's the routine - I mean, part of the job of a cover band is to entertain, and people enjoy seeing musicians singing, running around, having fun and playing instruments. Of course, gigging musicians enjoy the attention - after all, I firmly believe most musicians are insecure to beging with. So, when the crowd's digging you, you're digging them back via the music and entertainment, and it creates good synergy (I blogged about this a few days ago).
However - every now and then, there are a few people in the crowd who take it way past the "comfortable zone." Maybe it's a guy who's been pounding drinks all day long and side-stepped from the "fun, buzzed" arena to the darker "beligerant drunk" side. This guy stumbles to the dance floor, bashes into people without regard and hits on girls who want nothing to do with him. Or maybe it's the girl who's so into the band she DEMANDS you play her favorite song, regardless if the band's never done it (or ALREADY done it one set before) - to the point of yelling at the band to "&#ck off!" if the band doesn't comply.
But beyond that, there's the person who uses what I call "The Cobra Stare." THIS person weirds me right out the door. 99% of the time, this person is a girl, and here's how she operates:
- Forces her way to the front of the crowd, right up to the stage - no matter who she needs to bump out of the way
- Emulates whatever I do on stage (e.g. peace sign, arms raised while singing, arching back while hitting a note, etc.)
- Stares DIRECTLY into my eyes while NEVER BLINKING - even from ACROSS THE ROOM
AGH! This happens occasionally, and - as a seasoned musician and singer - it freaks the livin' hoo-hah out of me. See, I'm a writer and creative type with a love of good horror/suspense - so of course my friggin' imagination grabs the wheel and starts telling me exactly what I don't want to hear ("She's from a pod, Kenny" "She'll swallow your soul, Kenny!" "She's the human cobra woman who'll hypnotize you, then bite you and suffocate you, Kenny!").
Bottom line? Well, I'm civil to this type of person - just like to anyone else who takes the time to come and see us.
But still...
...it weirds me out!
1 comment:
After laughing out loud uncontrollably, I regained my senses and decided to add to this humorous yet creepy blog entry.
"Cobra Stare" may or may not have a wingwoman by her side. A handler so to speak. One who on the surface appears to be the more normal of the two, then after digging a little deeper (usually against your own volition), you come to realize that there is something rotten in Denmark. Clues to look for might include temporary blindness after executing a descending tom roll only to find that said wingwoman has crept on stage with a disposable camera and has captured your image (at least that's all I hope was captured. I'd hate to have my "drummerface" be the centerpiece of some Santeria ritual). "Cobra Stare" and wingwomen never use their real names. They go out into the night with psuedonyms adding to their distasteful mystique. They may communicate with one another via archaic tools such as flash cards with random words and phrases carefully printed and laminated. Code words, incantations, instructions? Who knows.
I think I need to contact the local AFofM and see if this qualifies for hazard pay.
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