You Hired a WHAT?!

OK - I did it. I really did it. After consulting with the band, we decided to...gulp...

...hire a female keyboardist.

Yes. A girl has become a player in Party Jones.

YAGH!

You're reading this and probably wondering "Geez Kenny - what's the problem? Having a girl in your band is a GOOD thing." And indeed it is - for reasons like: I no longer have to sing the girl songs, the guitar player doesn't have to play EVERY single part and I don't have to hit the ultrasonic high harmony notes. Good times, right?

Yes, but...well, I'll say this: dealing with a woman in a band is completely different than dealing with a guy. I won't invoke the "diva" phrase here, though that gets bandied around quite a bit by people who've played with girls in all-guy bands (yep - I'm one of those). I have it on good authority that our new keyboardist is NOT a diva in any sense of the word. That's good enough for me.

However, having a girl in an all dude band creates a different vibe and chemistry. I call Party Jones "The Jones Boys" because we often feel like a group of renegades on the run. Roll into town, shoot 'em up, give 'em hell, make 'em fall in love with you and get lost before you're caught - all the while keeping just out of reach of the law. None of that seems like an apt description for a girl, y'know?

Also, with guys you can be harsh - you don't have to pull punches when criticizing them. You don't have to hold back when making a joke, and the cruder the humor the better (PLEASE don't tell me you gasped when you read that!). With a girl, my DNA immediately puts a governer on my mouth. My dad raised me to respect women, not be "dirty mouthed" around them and act - more or less - like a gentleman. Add to these the fact that when we're playing in a crowded club we sweat, curse, jump around and look like we've been in a 12-round boxing match. How will that work with a girl in the band? Will she curse, sweat and do the rest?

As I mentioned in a previous post, if each band member understands his or her role, plays within that role and puts the crowd and the band ahead of the individual there's really no need to be gushy with one another. It's a business. Do the job and get paid and leave your ego in the car. Still, it's a nice value add when you DO develop interpersonal relationships with the band. It'll be interesting to see how we go down that particular road with a female on board.

In the meantime?

...gulp.